The Manly Experience

If a boy doesn’t experience his father’s approval of him no matter what he does or feels (unconditional love), the boy may distance himself from his father and move toward his mother, especially if he is of a more sensitive nature, and he will feel hurt or anger. If a boy doesn’t experience an affirmation of his maleness, male identity will remain a mystery to him instead of experiencing his own inborn process of achieving manhood. If a boy doesn’t receive some level of physical affection from his father, he will likely grow up believing that there is something wrong with male affection and will experience a longing for this kind of connection in a world in which manhood is too narrowly defined.

Think about it….If a boy’s experience of maleness remains a mystery and is not taken into himself subjectively, what is the only other option for experiencing maleness?….objectifying it. If a boy feels his “powerful” father doesn’t accept him he may always experience a deeply hurt longing for a man to truly love him. If a boy grows up in a world that considers male physical affection as shameful and unmanly, the boy can easily take on a kind of “false self” in which he sublimates his desire for male contact and takes on a “hyper-macho,” narrow version of manhood.

It comes down to this:
If objectifying maleness, never getting unconditional love, and taking on a “hyper-macho,” “no-touch” definition of manhood is what a boy experiences,       IS IT REALLY A SHOCK THAT THIS BOY DEVELOPS    A HOMOSEXUAL ORIENTATION?

So now the boy grows up with homosexual feelings or a complete homosexual orientation….what on earth can he do now?! That’s where The WorkOUT comes in.

Let’s be honest….The tragedy is that, in reality, a man of course can not go back as a boy to get what he needed from his father or his peers. But the good news is that, as an adult, a man can allow himself to pursue ENOUGH of what he needs to move into the fulfillment of his own manhood. Most men who do this come to an understanding that they must experience their grief and anger for not getting what they needed. These are difficult times. But through the support of other men who accept him, understand him, love him and demonstrate affection, a man can make the most important choice to understand, accept, and love HIMSELF. In these ways he can build up his own strong, powerful and loving identity as his own man.

What are  the “roadblocks?”

A man in this situation is going to have to be willing to take healthy risks since there are many roadblocks to development and fulfillment. The answers may surprise you. Read…”What the Gay World Isn’t Telling You,” and “What the Christian World Isn’t Telling You.”    

Can you imagine the solid sense of manhood, the self-respect, the loving and connected male relationships, and the sexual satisfaction with a woman he could feel if a man is willing to do what it takes to grow and change? Are you willing to Work OUT? Is it tough to affect change…yes. Is it worth it?....You bet.